Sunday, January 16, 2011

All we ever do is say goodbye

One of my best friends is getting married next month, and I will not be there to witness the happiest day of her life. I am extremely happy for her, but at the same time I feel sad because I am losing a friend of twenty years.

If I have to arrange my friends in the order of best-friend-ness, the ones I've known the longest will have very good chances of topping the charts. Not that I am not good friends with relatively new friends, but there is something, some bond with your childhood friends that you can never experience again with other people. You have been with each other since you were eight-year-olds running wild in the neighbourhood, have played endless games, the kinds of games slowly changing as you grow older. And you don't have to make any effort to create an atmosphere of friendliness when you're with each other, you don't have to grope for suitable topics of conversation. You can simply lie on a bed on a Sunday afternoon, listen to an old song and be happy. It doesn't matter if you don't keep in touch for months, when you see each other again you are still the same best friends, and the months just melt away.

When my parents and other elders talked about their old friends from forty fifty years back, it amazed me that they still remembered people from so long back. And at times they would talk about certain events from their youth as if it happened last week. But now I know forty or fifty years can seem not so long ago when it involved people you cared for. My friend and I have known each other for twenty years, yet I still remember clearly the day we first became friends.

Such is life. We meet, became friends, and eventually all of us have to say goodbye at some point of time. It could be because of a hundred reasons. People moving away, people getting married,  or simply losing touch, and sometimes we have nothing in common anymore so the friendship just dies. And one fine day, when we shed our earthly existence, will be the final goodbye.


  1. I thil rawn ziah hi ka blog ah khan tawi te in ka rawn sawi tawh a....nangni chu in naupan lai tang tawhin hmun khata in la awm char char vang hian in naupan laia in thiante nen khan in la in kawm zui zel thei ta mahse keichu ka in ngaihtuah hian ka naupan lai thiante kha chu chuti em em a la kawm ngaih em em pawh ka nei tawh lo. Keima lo hmuh ve dan atang chuan i vannei phian zawk alawm le ka ti mai dawn asin!

    Engpawhnise pasal a neih dawn vang khan goodbye a ni kher hlei nem.. i duh hunah hunah i va leng thin anga rei deuh deuh i leng anga zanah pawh haw miah lo la a pasal pawh chu i melh rum char char thin dawn lawm! :)

    [Good Song Choice :D]

  2. Awiii, hepa hi chu ka van duh tak. He hla te pawh hi! Admittedly Ive never thought about saying goodbye to friends in relation to this song. "I love you more than songs can say but I cant keep running back to yesterday" tih te ania, thiante an lang pha ve teuhlo mai :D

    Sorry. J.mayer lan tawh chuan thildang a lengtha duhlo khawp. :D

  3. Mos - Nia vannei chu ka inti alawm. Nang chu i naupan lai thiante chu kawmngeih chu sawi loh hriat pawh i hre mumal tawh hlawm lo ang a?

    Pasal neih dawn avang khan goodbye a ni kher lo - agreed, mahse thianten nupui pasal an neih a, fa te an neih tawh phei chuan inkawm dan hi a dang tawh, an rilru zawng zawng in min kawm tawh lo. Kan priorities te a lo inang tawh lo a. Kan khawvel hi a inang thei tawh lo. Mahse thiante chu thiante an la ni zel tho eng pawh thleng se.

  4. kuku - I know it is soooo not a saying-goodbye-to-friends song, but I found the title very appropriate. Friends going separate ways, taking different paths in life- I think it reflected that very well.

    You know, it's very hard to believe that someone you've known all your life, who was as carefree as you were, is getting married and settling down in life. I know it's going to happen, but I still cannot bring myself to believe it. Maybe I should say "Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time"

  5. Aduh.. 'tiang hi ka tawng hnem tawh alawm, pasal an neih tawh chuan an fate leh pasal kha an priorities chu a ni chiang, kan inthianna a bo chuang lo, mahse Hmanlai kha a ang thei tawh lo..

    mi thenkhat lahin I thiannu i tluk lo, pasal pawh i hmu ve lo, min la ti zui.. hlawntlinna hi pasal hmuhah chauh hian an teh emawni thin ni? :P

  6. I lost my best friend, who was also the best man at my wedding, few years ago.I admit I dont easily make close friends, so dont really have a 'best' friend. I guess once one is married, one is committed to ones spouse and hardly any room for friends. They do say 'three is a crowd', dont they?
    Good song choice, am a John Mayer fan.

  7. keipawh amos ang deuh ka ni, ka naupan lai thian te ka kawm ngai tawh lo, kum tam fe ka hmu tawh lo in e nge an tih pawh ka hre tawh lo

  8. Varte - Khatiang kha chuuu.. ka sawi peih tawh lo. Thiante'n pasal an nei dek dek a, mi zawng zawngin "Ti ve tep tawh em" "Engtik nge i neih ve dawn" min ti sek hi chu ninawm ee! Chuta karah "I rei tawh, i senior tawh, nei ve tawh rawh" min han ti leh phei chu chhut lawlh hi an chakawm.

    daniel - I am so sorry about your friend. Losing one's best friend must be very hard, something which I fortunately have not experienced. I too don't make friends easily, so I try to hold on to the few friends I have, although I am terrible at keeping in touch.

    John Mayer-he writes beautiful songs.
    "You whisper, "come on over"'cause you're two drinks in,
    But in the morning I will say goodbye again.
    Think we'll never fall into the jealous game?
    The streets flood with blood of those who felt the same."

    DylanSailo - Keipawh naupan lai thiante zawng zawng chu ka kawm reng tawh bik lo, a then te chuan veng khata awm reng siin kan inkawm lo tawp, nothing in common anymore.

    And, thanks for visiting.

  9. Must be so sweet to be friends for 20 years without parting. And then your turn will come to get married, others will have to say goodbye too.

    Me, i'm always moving and lose fdriends, as it gets harder to keep in touch. When i was 17 my best friend of the time, 19, got married and it was such a big loss.

  10. Gud 1 Aduhi.
    I Second most of wot you've said.

    Keep up d gud work.


  11. It's not really goodbye, ambs, though I know it seems like it. When one of my closest friends got married, I also remembering feeling very wistful and thinking this-is-it thoughts like yours. But true friendships don't end like that, they just take a twist in the road. And when things get a little rough, they'll be happy for your sympathy and shoulder to cry on.

  12. Aduh, I think I've told you. Don't miss me too much. I'll be in touch. Me getting married is not goodbye. Thanks to the advanced technology. I could always call you on the phone, and could stay up late talking about how we used to play hide & seek and whatnot. Te rawn ti duah mai ila, keimah ka ni bawk silo a.. :-P

  13. lolz @ Alej. Read the post again. She's talking about her GIRL friend. HAHAHAHAHA!

    Ah childhood friends. I just posted a video clip on my blog featuring my best friends. And then the same guy above Alej said he knew them. And then I just realized, daymmmm those guys are my best friends because we have been friends since birth! And here you are writing a very related post. whoah....

  14. mesjay - When you've been friends since childhood, you don't even realise that it has been twenty years, but to other people it's like Twenty years oh my god! What I'm trying to say is you don't even notice that it's been that long.

    Aijaz - Thanks a lot, thanks for reading.

    Calliopia - Thanks for the comforting words. I know I am making a big deal out of it, as if we are parting forever. But you have been there so I'm glad you understand how it feels to have a friend go away.

  15. Alejendro - Mi hi ngaisang viau teh suh. When (and if) you do get married I will sing and dance at your wedding, te kha ti ila, i lawm awm.

    illusionaire - I think we are at that stage in life where we realise that old is gold and there's no place like home.. ehh te kha ti duah ila.

  16. Sucks when friends do that! Of course you always promise each other you'll continue to hang out, have fun, do the same things but we all know that never happens. One of my best friend is thinking of getting married this year, and I feel so wicked for not being happy for her :(

  17. thanpui - Ka lawm e

    Jerusha - And what's worse, once they get married they become one of the Smug Marrieds, going on and on about wedded bliss and whatnot and egging you to get married too aargh

  18. haha I know! Married people 'look down' on the unmarried. Even if their marriage sucks lol