Thursday, August 30, 2007

May the post be with you

Some weeks back there was some kind of Star Wars marathon on Star Movies, where they show a Star Wars movie every weekend. One day because there was nothing else to see on TV watching Attack of the Clones I was, and never really watched it before I had. It turned out to be not as bad as I had assumed. The next week watching Revenge of the Sith I was, and surprisingly interested I became, mostly because of Hayden Christensen's smouldering looks. (Do guys have smouldering looks, or is it reserved only for sexy sultry women? And what about us normal unglamorous women- can we ever hope to smoulder? Or should we just be content with seething and fuming with rage, the closest we can get to smouldering?)

Life is not easy for us average and below-average lookers, the world is getting more and more obsessed with beauty, youth, and looking good. What about moral values, what about decency and integrity, and just being good human beings? Live and let live? Today on the way to work we stopped at a traffic signal, and amidst the chaos that is Hyderabad traffic, I saw a traffic signal hawker helping a blind girl cross the road. In another sighting, I saw an old man maybe above 70 years old walking a big dog. It was clear from the uniform he wore that the dog was not his. And the saddest part was that the dog ran quite fast and the old man had to struggle to keep up with it. The recent bombings make me think about life and death. All we see and hear on the news is war, death, murder, bombings, kidnappings, the list goes on, all preventable and as far as we are concerned should not happen. It made me recall a conversation from a Calvin & Hobbes comic book: Are people basically good with a few bad intentions, or basically bad with a few good intentions?

But wait a minute I am digressing. Now I forgot everything I was to write about Star Wars. Yes, I also liked the way Master Yoda spoke. "Meditate on this I will." And recall everything I forgot. Many years too late a Star Wars fan I am I know, but didn't the proverb say better late than never? This old dog can still learn some new tricks, if liking Star Wars a trick you would call.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Shot Full Of Synonyms

When you right-click on a word in MS Word it gives you many options such as Cut, Copy, Paste etc. I was typing something today, and found that one such option was Synonyms. Then it occurred to me that I could take a song and substitute almost every word with one of its synonyms. The first song that came to my mind was Don Williams's "Shot Full Of Love." So below is my synonymised version of Shot Full Of Love.

Once upon a time I had a sensitivity icy as hoarfrost
Ardor to me was no more than enjoyment
I'd construct a scratch for every conked out spirit
Resembling notches on the handle of a firearm

Some time ago I had a ruse up my sheath
As well as a standing all over the municipality
I was callous and arctic anywhere I set out
I clouted down each juvenile lass I came across

Fair enough, I used to be a moonlight brigand
I used to be a calamity youngster
Subsequently I encountered you and after that incident I knew
There I was, oh, explosion chock-a-block with devotion

Well, who would have contemplated that a big shot akin to you
Could put up with a thug like me
Nevertheless, oh at this point I am as docile as mutton
My hemorrhaging heart in attendance at your base

Monday, August 20, 2007

I'm not titled

Do I have to put a title every time I post something? It is a big inconvenience, time consuming and baffling. It irritates me no end. It gives me the impression/feeling that someone somewhere is analysing/checking/monitoring my posts and the appropriateness of the titles. Can't life on the blogosphere go on void of all the funny/witty/sad/poignant/thoughtful/meaningless titles that are floating around? I am bad with titles, just as I am bad with names. To quote whats-his-name, "A rose by any other name will smell just as sweet." Will a rose without a name smell just as sweet? Or maybe sweeter? I know titles give a sense of identity, of uniqueness, of this-is-like-no-other-thing, but I think I can live without them, at least here in the blogworld. That doesn't mean that all my future posts are going to be untitled, but in the event that I cannot think of any, I mean any title, then I would assert my constitutional right to freedom-to-untitle-my-posts and you, dear reader, will see the post in all its untitled glory. I think I am entitled to do that.

Friday, August 17, 2007

No regrets

My dear friend J wants me to write about my dreams, schemes and woolly skeletons in the cupboard.

I was never much of a dreamer, as in goals, wishes and aims (of course I dream when I sleep). I just live my life as it comes. I made many mistakes along the way but I am not complaining; my motto in life is "No regrets". I want to be self-sufficient, have lots of dogs, and live peacefully. I don't want to have to depend on anyone for anything, or be helpless. Of course there are things which are beyond my control like accidents, sickness, death etc. I wish I never have to report to anyone again in order to earn my livelihood. I wish life was simple and easy, without worry and stress.

Maybe I should turn Amish and live in a farm without electricity and mobile phones and irritating doorbells that ring as soon as you step inside the bathroom, and hopefully away from pesky salesmen and beggars who beg in the name of religion. I would never have to worry again about my salary, income tax, overdue rent, promotions, targets, deadlines, overtime, traffic jams. No more will I debate on the length of this season's jeans, or if it's flared or skinny or cut-off or torn or dark or light-coloured or sequined or flowered or low-rise or high-waisted or adorned with chains and other metallic things. I would not have to spend my hard-earned money anymore on shampoos, conditioners, conditioning shampoos, body scrub, body wash, body exfoliator, nail polish, nail polish remover, post-nail-polish-remover-nail-conditioner, bath oil, baby oil, body oil, hair oil, face mask, mud mask, detoxifying mask, spot mask, cooling eye mask, eye make-up, false eyelashes, eyelash curler, hair removal wax, foundation, blusher, blusher brushes, mascara, concealer stick, lipstick, lip gloss, moisturiser, sun protection factor moisturiser, extra moisturising moisturiser, light moisturiser, day moisturiser, night moisturiser. What kind of shoes I wear be it stilettos, sandals, flip flops, sneakers, trainers, open toed, wedges, pointed, rounded, platforms, or biker boots, it would all be a thing of the past. The list is endless.But please don't imagine for a moment that I would be running around naked from the waist down. I would still be myself, gadget-free, unemployed, happy, stress-free, fresh-air-breathing, sensible-clothes-wearing, un-madeup, surrounded by my pets.

But deep down in my heart I am a pessimist.

Do you know the number of farmers who commit suicide every year due to crop failure or debt or both? I don't know either, but I know it's an alarmingly big figure.

But I'm still allowed to dream, right?

So let's dream on.

Let's say I'm not the debt-incurring, suicide-committing type of farmer. Better yet, let's say I'm not a farmer at all. Living in a farm does not automatically make me a farmer, because I don't farm. I'm not against hard labour, or hard work. In fact, I'm pro-hardwork. Support the cause and all that. Whatever you do, work hard and be the best. Get rich (or at least self sufficient) and retire, even if it takes almost all of your life to do so.

Maybe that's my aim in life.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

In the beginning..

I hate imperfection. All the more so because I am a walking exhibit of it, and that had stopped me from starting this blog. But one fine morning I woke up and realised that waiting for perfection is like waiting for the second coming; it might happen someday but nobody knows when. So here I am, warts and all. Please feel free to laugh, cry, praise, commend, mock, deride, satirize, criticize, be disgusted or be indifferent.