Sunday, April 26, 2009


(I didn't write this myself, but enjoy it all the same)

She was haunted by a man whom she had never met. He came to her in his dreams. It was not just a recurring dream about some random Prince Charming archetype. This guy has flaws, he was just as mixed up and lost as she was. She would wake up from a dead sleep to the sound of his voice whispering in her ear, "Look out the window." She would argue in her half asleep stupor, "Be quiet! I'm sleeping." Again, he would whisper, "look out the window." She would eventually drag herself up from the cozy comfort of her bed to gaze out the window. There was the full moon, big and beautiful. It magically called to her from somewhere in the back of her soul's oldest memories.

She could feel him there, her ghostly suitor. She knew that if she spun around quickly, he would be standing there behind her, but every time she turned, there was nothing there but silence, silence and darkness. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, she could hear him silently promising, "Wait for me. I'll find you if it's the last thing I do." She would toss and turn for the rest of the night feeling his intense presence and wrestling with the fact that he wasn't real.

As the years went on, she would learn that he did not know her name and that he called her Destiny. She began to call him Passion. She was not allowed to search for him. She was to sit still and wait. It was part of the game, part of the agreement. His challenge for this lifetime was to search for his Destiny. After all, what is Passion without Destiny? He had to learn how to recognize her. She had to learn how to wait in blind faith that he would find her. Both had to live real lives with real mates. Neither could shake the very real belief that the other one existed somewhere out there.

How many times would she convince herself that the man standing in front of her was her Passion? How many times would it not be true? How would she know when it was finally him? How many women would he mistake for her? Would Passion and Destiny burn out and give up, writing it all off as just some figment of their imaginations? Do soulmates really exist? Or are we looking for an impossible ideal?

A soulmate is not just someone that you love from the depth of your soul. They are not just someone that you have a karmic connection with. They are not just someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. They are someone you miss hanging out with before you have even met. They are the ones that upon first meeting you simply sigh in relief and say, "Ah there you are, I've been waiting for you." There is no question, no getting to know you stage. You have known them for all of eternity. You may want to share stories of your journeys and how you came to find each other, but you already know them as well as you know yourself. You see yourself in their eyes. You understand them on a soul level because you share the same source.

Unfortunately, it is not always a blissful experience. Most of us are not ready to meet our other halves because we are not even ready to look ourselves in the mirror. Until you can truly love and accept yourself, then you will not be able to love and accept your soulmate. They are not some fantasy person sent to save you from the ups and downs of real life. They will not make your life a magic perfect delight. They will simply love you on a level that is unlike any other.

If you do not hear the call of a long lost soulmate, count yourself as blessed. You have the freedom to love anyone you choose. You get to make any kind of match that pleases you. Do not try to force a soulmate relationship. Be content in knowing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are meant to do.

If, on the other hand, you do hear your Passion calling, or you see Destiny in your dreams, then my prayers go out to you my dear. For yours is that path of finding the proverbial needle in the haystack. Don't ask me to tell you if they're worth the hunt. Can you bring yourself to give up the hunt even if you tried? Only you can gauge your ability to silence that cosmic voice calling you to hold out for that certain person that only you will recognize. Only you know what it's going to take to find them. Perhaps the angels will smile upon the two of you and help with some old fashioned happenstance. Perhaps you will telepathically connect and find your way to each other's arms. Perhaps you were just meant to experience the longing. Perhaps you will go through some bad relationships first so that when you find your Destiny, she'll be that much sweeter and more appreciative. Nobody knows for sure how it will play out. But I believe that on some level, deep down, you know.

Did you already meet your soulmate and choose to walk away from each other? Was the intensity too much? Did it scare you? Was it overwhelming? Was it too hard? Will you have a second chance with them later down the road? Will you miss them forever? Yeah, probably. Will you learn something about unconditional love from them? Yeah, probably.

Did you find each other and recognize they shared the same soul as you? Did you hold on tight? Count yourself as the very rare and the incredibly blessed. Cherish the gift of finding yourself in another's eyes and seeing just how beautiful you are.


  1. My firstI thought , "omg Aduhi beats me to this post"
    Seconds after reading it, 'Similar kind of a post to mine, but much better explained'
    After reading it, i enjoyed thoroughly. "Soulmates", it rang a bell deep inside, recollection of memories' ah, whateva!

  2. hey I didn't beat you to it, I didn't actually write the thing, remember?

  3. So who actually wrote this? It's beautiful. I remember reading parts of it somewhere before and the fifth paragraph about " A soulmate is...." reminds me of a similar quote by Richard Bach, the guy who wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a big, life-changing type book back in the 70s or sth. His take on soulmates goes like so,

    A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longing, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.So tell us, ambs, who's your soulmate or at least describe what you'd expect in one. You so rarely give away personal stuff in your posts, I've noticed, always so guarded about yourself. Spill a few beanos.

  4. Oh god you scare me. Spilling beanos scare me. Nothing much to spill anyway.

    I posted this in back in the good old days, and when I discovered I still had a copy I immediately put it up here. I think I copied it from a newspaper article, but unfortunately did not take down the author's name.

    So who's my soulmate or what do I expect in one? Sometimes I don't believe in all this soulmate thing, I think it's kind of like this arranged marriage thing, you eventually fall in love with someone when you've been together for some time. It's very difficult to explain. For me, I guess it would be someone who doesn't put me down, someone who doesn't try to change me and appreciates me for what I am, and well of course the whole connecting on a higher level thing has to be there (but I think this rarely happens unless you are a yogi or something). When I was younger and foolish I used to read all kinds of trash and believe in all that "we must have met before in our previous lives" jazz. But no more. Life is real, we have to live in the present and face that our "previous lives" isn't going to help us one bit.

    Like the article says, Until you can truly love and accept yourself, then you will not be able to love and accept your soulmate. If my soulmate is out there somewhere, well and good, in the meantime let me love myself just a little bit more

  5. Well said.

    And it's not true you have nothing much to spill. We're all unique individuals with our own little quirks and different drumbeats to march to, so it's always interesting getting to know what makes us tick, our take on things etc. Never mind what our daily lives are like, what we do or say or go about doing, who with and when. I'm always more interested in reading about what a person is really, really like deep down, the influences which went into making us what we are today.

    And I agree absolutely with you here - you eventually fall in love with someone when you've been together for some time. I think the human psyche is more suited to growing to love a person more and more through continued association than romantic novels and sweeping generalizations would have us believe.

  6. Han sawi zel teh u a ngaihnawm tlat :)

  7. Soulmates do exist. But it may take time to find each other and even after that,to fit perfectly, since nothing is really perfect this side of the grave.