Don't forget to remember

I'm so very tired. I didn't have my seven hours last night and the effect is now showing on me. My eyes are droopy, my brain won't function, there is a small thump-thump going on in my forehead, like someone with a hammer is stuck inside my head and banging on the walls, I cannot speak a meaningful sentence without pausing to think in the middle. And all because of a man. I haven't seen this man in ages, haven't spoken to him since forever, and we haven't kept in touch for God-knows-how-long. I was in bed listening to the radio late last night, when suddenly I heard a voice just like his. It was like something snapped, I couldn't help but remember his face, his voice, his singing voice. He has such a wonderful singing voice. Haunting, in fact. That voice haunted me through the night. I tried my best to keep the images and the sounds away, but they refused to go. I tossed and turned, I switched on the lights and read the most boring book I could lay my hands on, I listened to songs sung by other voices, I counted backwards from 100, I got up and drank hot milk, I did everything. But no, I couldn't, wouldn't sleep. Defeated, I lay there, trying hard to remember, the images swimming before my eyes, the voice ringing through my head. I don't know when I finally drifted off to sleep, but when I did I know it was due to pure exhaustion and exasperation.

Morning came, my alarm sang and grudgingly I got up. He was the first thing that popped into my mind. Then like a flash a thought followed: Adnan Sami.

Yes, Adnan Sami. The singer. Last night a song came on the radio and the voice was very much like his. But I plumb forgot his name! The reason I couldn't sleep was because I couldn't remember his name! I saw his face, I recalled his songs, but the name eluded me. I strained all the grey cells and failed to come up with his name. It was too late, and you couldn't wake people at four in the morning to ask "What's the name of that fat Pakistani singer?" I decided if I listed all the Muslim names then somehow I'd get the name. So I started, from the A's. Abid, Abdul, Ahmed, Ali, Arif, Asif,..... I realized what a stupid idea it was Even before I exhausted the A's. I gave up. Then I started thinking of names randomly....let me see... there was an N in it...so Naeem? No. Nadeem? Nah. Nasir? No, wait, I think it started with a K. Kaleem, Karim, Khalid...No, no, no!! Khadija? That's a girl's name!! How about the M's? Mohammed, Mujeeb, Mustafa, Malik....all wrong. Too much thinking early in the morning is not good, I decided, so I did all the things I mentioned above.

The point is, I think I am suffering from Alzheimer's, or something that has to do with memory loss. I'd suddenly forget things which I thought I would always remember, things that I'd taken for granted. I would see/think of someone/something and all of a sudden I'd draw a blank. I would forget names of things, for instance, once I saw a picture of a hibiscus flower, and I tried to think of its Mizo name, and poof! I couldn't come up with anything. I racked my brains for two days, and in the end I called my sister who told me the name. I am especially affected in the name department; I think the part of my brain that remembers names is damaged or stunted or underdeveloped or something. And many a times I would meet people who would smile and be all friendly with all the hellos and the how are yous and I'd try my best to hide the blank look and give some vague reply while my mind would go searching frantically...who is this?... I've seen this person somewhere...now what's his/her name?...how did he/she know me?.... Am I the only one suffering from this affliction, from this disease? Have you ever experienced this kind of temporary amnesia, this forgetfulness, this not being able to remember things which you’ve known all your life?

I opened the newspaper, and my eyes fell on an article that says exercising the brain can make it younger by about 10 years. I’ve heard this said before, but have never really paid much attention to it. Nonetheless I immediately turned to the crossword and Sudoku section, and was in for a rude shock. I had to struggle and sweat to solve a Sudoku puzzle whose level was Easy. It was an awakening jolt, a real eye opener. I used to finish Easy in about a minute, and now it took me almost ten minutes to do so. The truth dawned on me; I had let my brain rot, dry and crumble. No wonder I forgot simple things like the Mizo name of hibiscus. I have to wake up and do some mental push-ups, get the grey cells active and running. Have to pick up the crumbled pieces and put them back together, which leads me to the moral of the story: don’t stop thinking.

I don't practice what I preach
I can be quite a hypocrite sometimes
So sue me

Ms

Pronounced Miz. Whoever introduced this salutation ought to be awarded some prize or have something named after him/her, something good. Whenever I fill in some application or some other form I always smile inside if the salutation options include Ms apart from the usual Mr/Miss/Mrs. Ms lets the world know that you’re of the feminine gender but reveals nothing about your marital or non-marital status. You could be single, engaged, married, divorced, widowed, married x number of times, in a steady relationship, have just broken up with someone, be on the prowl for love/romance, be sick and tired of love, anything, we all fit under the shade provided by the umbrella that is Ms. Ms embraces us all without irritating questions, without raised eyebrows or snide remarks or condescending stares. Being a Ms is so liberating, so refreshing, so exhilarating, so mysterious, so equal rights, so girl power, so many things. But don’t get me wrong, I am no bra-burning feminist. Miss, Mrs are fine, in fact they are very good. Would people still be as hooked to Agatha Christie if Miss Marple was Ms. Marple? Or listen to Simon & Garfunkel or watch The Graduate if Mrs. Robinson was Ms. Robinson? You get the drift. Each to her own salutation, I say.

If only there was a Mizo version of Ms so that all Mizo women could enjoy some anonimity! It would be especially beneficial for divorcees; it would let them escape the undesirable “nuthlawi” tag. Because being a divorcee in a Mizo society is a dreadful thing, with some kind of social stigma attached to it, people seeing you as a woman of questionable character, no matter what the reason for your divorce or separation was. You are assumed guilty unless proven innocent. And the “nuthlawi’ tag doesn’t help you one bit, it just adds fuel to the fire. If there was a Ms or an equivalent title it would at least save face but not reputation because the place is so small everyone knows everyone else and your reputation always precedes you wherever you go.

I don’t know exactly when this new found appreciation of Ms struck me. I was happy being Miss, going on with my life, but lately I find myself liking Ms more and more. Could it be blamed on advancing age? More and more of my friends getting married and having babies? People snickering and making bad jokes about being unmarried/unengaged? “Well wishers” telling me to get married as if husbands were something you could pick up from a supermarket shelf, as if marriage was the be-all and end-all of life, the culmination of youth? I am free to make my own choices, and for the moment I chose to remain a Ms. That’s what being a woman is all about, free to make your own choices and decisions, free to call yourself whatever you want, and the freedom to do whatever your heart desires.

Some English jokes :

A piece of tarmac walks into a bar and starts chucking pint glasses and trashing the place. A customer whispers to the barman, "What's his problem?" The barman says, "Don't get involved, he's a cyclepath."

A man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm, strolls up to the bar and says, "Two beers please." "Two?" enquires the barman. "Yeah two, one for me and one for the road."

I used to think I was a cracked record, but I'm fixed now...ixed now...ixed now....ixed now......

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, "My name is Joe and I'm an alcoholic."

What's the best part of a bee?
-Its knees.

What's E.T. short for?
-Because he's got little legs.

What has a fur coat, four legs, and flies?
-A dead cat.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
-Because it was dead.
Why did the parrot fall out of the tree?
-Because it was stapled to the monkey.
Why did the tree fall over?
-Because it thought it was a game.

What do you call a man who floats in the ocean?
-Bob.

A horse walks into a pub. The barman says, "Why the long face?"

A man walks into a pub with a lizard on his shoulder, says to the landlord, "Pint for me and a pint for Tiny here"
"Why do you call him Tiny?"
"Because he's my newt."

An Englishman, Irishman and a Frenchman walks together into a pub. Landlord says, "Is this a joke?"