Friday, March 6, 2009

The mornings after

So here I am, having completed a cool three decades in life. Many of you younger folks might be wondering how it feels. Do I feel weird, old, jaded, do I think I’ve seen it all and done it all? Do I feel that life has nothing new to offer me? Do I “suddenly start howling at the full moon and turn into a werewolf, or start having these strange fetishes for senile people”? Do I immediately act like a middle aged person and start dishing out advice to all and sundry? Do I suddenly develop aches and pains and ulcers in the remote corners of my body? Do I feel sad because I am not married and “nula senior” jokes and snide comments will follow me like a faithful puppy?

Of course not. Whoever it was who first said “Age is just a number” was absolutely right. The morning after the big day I looked into the mirror, more closely than I ever did, and inspected myself for signs of damage and aging. I wouldn’t lie and say I looked seventeen but I didn’t look too bad. No visible wrinkles, no grey hair, just the same old face staring back at me. I got dressed and discovered my five year old jeans still fit, I didn’t develop a sudden desire to wear frumpy dresses and didn’t rush out to buy anti-wrinkle creams and age defying miracle lotions or make appointments at posh beauty clinics. I didn't feel old at all. Life went on just as before.

Mentally, I’ve never felt better. I’ve made enough mistakes and committed enough crimes to be cautious and look carefully before I step into anything and not blindly jump without looking. I have better judgment of people, of things, and am able to see the bigger picture in life. I'm more confident, more self assured, and more positive. I've learned to enjoy and appreciate the little things. And the biggest discovery of them all? Life has so much to offer, there is so much to learn every day I don’t think I could ever feel old or learned or experienced. Life humbles. Every day is a new day, a new beginning.

Living away from home has its advantages. You don’t have nosy people poking their noses into your affairs and asking you when you are getting married, or if you're getting married at all. Out here you do get these questions once in a while but it’s different. Nobody spends their time analyzing why you are such an old maid, they just accept you as you are. But of course as long there is a Mizo community in your city you cannot escape the “nula senior” tag, and I’ve heard enough jokes to last me ten lifetimes. You want to crack one more joke at my expense? Go on punk, make my day. You feel I’ve been “around for a long time?” Keep it to yourself; I’ve heard it so many times from other juveniles like you. Ok I am not going to rant and rave about this “nula/tlangval senior” issue or the Mizo society; enough has been said already by other people.

Finally, a message to all you twenty somethings. Don’t be afraid of turning 30, it’s no big deal. Life will not stop, and contrary to what you think, it’s not downhill from here. I would say it’s just the opposite. I feel reborn, redeemed, vindicated, and that life has given me a second chance to correct all the mistakes I've made. In fact, you should be looking forward to it.

19 comments:

  1. Ni aduh you're still beautiful :-) Kumte chu i sawi angin number mai mai a lawm. Tarmeet kan nei dawn nia, kan la lam chiam ang kanla young heih heih em. Mahse maw i chik ve ngai em, upa ka inti ngailo a, kan bul awmte hi an lo naupang ve leh lulai lutuk a. Thlalakah mawlh hian young takin kanlo chal deuh tawh thin. Kan bul awmte zir a ni e, Aizawlah chuan keini ai a upa hi an tam lutuk. A tehna zir mai mai a ni e. So...Tlangval, nula senior tarmite bun mai kan nilo :-) Kan young strawh.. haha

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  2. Hahaha.. good one for those who turns to 30... same with me, check this out..

    http://innermost-being.blogspot.com/2008/11/ka-upa-em-ni.html

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  3. U Sawmte- I ti dik lutuk! A tehna azir te hi alawm upat leh naupan te chu. Theory of Relativity ni mai. Thlalak a lan young dan i hre duh em? Aia upa te hlir lakpui rawh. Lakpui tur i hmuhzawhloh chuan single a ni mai.

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  4. Varte i blog post chuan min va ti hlim em! A dik bawk si!

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  5. My sis has a job back home, and although she's barely crossed the otherside of 25, she has been crowned "Nula Sr". She is still as energetic, if not more, than present-day-lethargic-emo teens.
    Age is just a number, indeed, and you are only as old as you think you are. Nurture your inner child, and remain "Forever young"...(in fine print)at heart!

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  6. blackestred - "Forever Young" has always been my motto. Society is too harsh, dont you think, branding us "Nula seniors" when in fact we are still wee babes. Tell your sis I'm rooting for her all the way, and to keep running ahead of those useless emos.

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  7. Aduh, 30 something is sexy... hehe. Kum a tam a, mihring chu kan fing tawlh tawlh alom le. A hlu. Naupanlai ang maia kezungpui kawhna lam lam a kawi erawh a har ta deuh a nih hi. Nuls sr. kan tih brand hi chu a inthlak deuh tawh in ka hria :P

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  8. Congrats on your sane spirit and a belated Happy Birthday to you! 30? That's nothing. Don't you know, my dear girl, that life begins at 50?

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  9. Vana - studies show that women feel sexiest at 32. Which means,life is just beginning!!!

    mesjay - Thank you. So life begins at 50, eh?? Can't wait to find out.

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  10. "Don’t be afraid of turning 30, it’s no big deal." helai tak hi tha in ka hria..! Blog template thar chu va nalh ve a.

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  11. Thank you Hruaia. Kum 30 hi a lo ho em alawm, engvakmah hi a lo ni lo a, lak serious em em tur poh a ni lo e.

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  12. i like this post

    btw, i blog ah hian mithar ka ni lo, ka lo leng lut ve fo a nia.. thuziak i thiam

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  13. Belated happy birfday, ambs! 30 is a great age to be.

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  14. What a refreshing take on getting older! Congratulations on turning the BIG Three O. Thanks for the inspiring post. Kudos too for the eloquent dismissal of all those who find ti necessary to crack "senior" jokes that are so not funny; I suspect that there is often quite a bit of malice behind those so-called jokes. And I do agree with you that age is really just a number.

    More than anything, though, what I would agree to is the fact that one gains confidence as one matures. As a youngster, I was pint-sized, the third of three sisters, the youngest in my class...factors which ensured that I wouldn't really be 'brimming' with self-confidence. There are still traces of that inherent in me, but with more birthdays, I have developed a more confident personality, and what a relief that has been!

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  15. nancy - I ti lawmawm e,i lo leng lut leh ziah dawn nia.

    J - Thank you.

    ddb - Ah yes, confidence, that comes only with age (at least in people like us). I was never comfortable admitting my age but here I am today , shouting from the rooftops, and the discovery that nothing changes, that people don't suddenly see me as some weird species is amazing and refreshing.

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  16. Silenceofthedepth - thank you. keep visiting.

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  17. Hey, congrats on the big three-oh. I remember talking with a few of my friends a few years ago about how fast we are approaching 18. We thought it was a big deal back then. Nearly a decade has passed since and I'm now approaching the 3 decade milestone faster than you can say 'new kids on the block'. So thanks for giving us youngsters(relatively) a glimpse of what it feels like to go beyond that. Anyways, as they say 30 is the new 20, so party on sistah! A happy belated birthday.

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  18. Thank you Chhamanator. Dont worry too much about how old you are, it's not worth it. Just have fun, that's all that matters, really.

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