Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Vanity Card

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #328

They weren't not in love. It's just that the subject, as such, never really came up. It kind of loomed over them like a blissfully stupid cloud. The love cloud

                              Guaranteed to rain on your brain, 'til you're
                              moanin' with seratonin


Maybe what was happening was that they were in love with the idea of being in love. But that's still love right? Instead of loving each other they loved an idea. An aspiration. A wish. The other person was more or less of an afterthought. Somewhat expendable, or at the very least, interchangeable.

                               I love that you make me feel like I'm in love.
                              You, on the other hand, I can take or 

                               leave.

Of course, it was just a matter of time before the truth of each other, the hard fact of their unique selfness, their one-of-a-kind snow-flakiness, became unavoidable.

                               I may be a broken toy but you are a 
                              Chinese crib factory that uses lead paint.

 Saying goodbye in these circumstances is always very awkward.

                              "I just had your car towed."
                              "That's okay, those Flip videos I said I erased
                               are now on the Internet."

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Outs



  • Phone bill
  • Power bill
  • Water Bill
  • Internet Bill
  • Kohhran thawhlawm ip
  • KTP thawhlawm ip
  • Kohhran hmeichhe thawhlawm ip
  • Ramthar
  • Faith Promise
  • LPS
  • Zonet
  • Vanglaini
  • Zozam Times
  • Times of India
  • Makedonia
  • Zalen
  • Zanlai Au Aw
  • Hriselna
  • Kristian Thalai
  • Agape
  • Runlum
  • MUP Tlangau
  • Consumer Chhantu
  • Civil Pensioner
  • YMA chanchinbu
  • Petrol

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Tutorial: How to kill a mosquito while half asleep


Scenario One:  You are in bed, safe inside a mosquito net, or so you thought. You discover that an overzealous mosquito is trapped inside and is now flying around. You know you are going to be victimised sooner or later.
Solution: Switch on your mobile phone. The mosquito will be attracted by the light and will land on your mobile screen, at which point you will easily squash it and sleep peacefully.

Scenario Two:  You are asleep, and are woken by a mosquito buzzing around your head. You know that the fellow is going to attack you.
Solution: Cover yourself completely, except for the face and one hand. Keep your hand close to the face. Mosquito will land somewhere on your face, with lightning reflexes you hit it and sleep peacefully. If you miss it, you will have slapped yourself unnecessarily. Hehehe.

Scenario Three: It is dark. A mosquito is playing tag with you, and you cannot catch it.
Solution: Get up, switch all the lights on. If it leaves the room, that'll be the end of it. You will not look for it, you will not pursue it. But if it doesn't, you will look for it, you will find it, and you will kill it.  
Scenario Four: You are unimaginative.
Solution: Buy All Out, plug it in, switch it on, go to sleep. Khallas!