Picture this

Yesterday I received out of the blue an email from a visitor of my blog, whose identity I will protect (because I’m such a good person). He said he took one look at the blog and after 2 seconds left the place because it was too “empty”, he said. Empty? I echoed at him. Yes, empty, he re-echoed. You blind or what? I volleyed. What me blind, have you known a blind man surf the net and send emails? He re-volleyed. Then how come you said my blog is empty? Didn’t you see all those posts? I shot back. I saw those posts all right, I said it was empty because there are no pictures of you or anything else, was his final reply, because I didn’t deem the conversation worth continuing after that.

I don’t owe him or anyone an explanation for not peppering my blog with pictures, videos, etc. Why isn’t there anything else except old boring posts? some passers-by might wonder. Why indeed? Why, for that matter, does the sun rise at the east and not at the west? I know I am making a mountain out of a molehill but the tone of that email was so discouraging, so condescending that the Amazon in me woke up in rage. Well, not exactly rage, but maybe something close to it, maybe seriously annoyed, or should I say a tad incensed?

But seriously, don’t you think I should act my age and let the poor blighter be with his opinion? After all, don’t we live in a free country? He was just voicing his (insignificant) opinion and here I am, fretting and worrying about nothing, nothing at all.

Oh, and the reason I don’t put up pictures? Because I don’t want to.

Honey I burned the dal

Today was just not a good day for the dal. I woke up, opened the fridge and saw the leftover dal from two days ago. I threw it out, and decided to cook a fresh pot. I duly measured it, washed it, and cooked it in the pressure cooker with just the right amount of water. Then I drifted elsewhere. First to drink my tea and read the newspaper. I checked the dal, it showed no sign of being cooked. Let's give it some more time, I thought, and went down to speak to the watchman about our electric bills. The watchman was nowhere to be found, and I sat down on his chair waiting for him and watching the residents come and go. When he finally made his appearance and after we discussed the stuff I went up, and witnessed a small crowd (most notably the small kid next door) gathered outside our door. The smell of something burning hung heavily in the air. I opened the door, rushed inside, and the kitchen was full of smoke, the pressure cooker turned the colour black. I switched off the stove and dunked the cooker in water. The smell was unbearable. Opening it I discovered I had reduced the dal to part slushy dal, part black gravel. I scooped out the parts that were salvageable and ate some of it at lunch, and although I don't think they would throw away food I told myself the kids had eaten the rest of it because when I came home late at night the bowl was empty and there was no sign of salvaged dal in the dustbin which I know is being overtly optimistic but the next time I cook dal I will remember to stand by it and won't let anybody hurt it.

BIBLE STORIES REMIXED

I was cleaning out my junk the other day and came across this piece I wrote almost five years ago. I had written it in one of my countless notebooks, and it was by sheer chance that I discovered it, and what a discovery it was!! I thought of putting it in English, but feared it would lose its flavour, and it would take too much thumbing of my English Bible. So here it is, unabridged, with the same old title, spelling mistakes and all.

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Atirin Pathianin lei leh van a siam a.

Abrahama chu mi thuawih thei tak ani.

Tin, Abrahama chuan, "Lalpa, Lalpa, nangin engatinge mi tihduhdah ni?" a ti a.

Lalpa chuan, " Ka beramte chawm rawh," a ti a.

"Ka pu, khaina engmah I nei si lo a."

"Israel ramah hian nang lo pawh hi Baal hmaa la thingthi lo mi 7000 lai ka la nei asin."

"Lalpa, I thu ang zel ni rawh se."

Tichuan Abrahama chu a thova, sebawng no chu a talh ta a. Amaherawh chu a u a rawn haw a, a rawn lungnilo ta em em mai a. "Uite pawhin an pute dawhkan atanga tla te chu an ei thin asin ni," a ti a. Abrahama chuan,"Chhiahhlawh tam tak I nei alawm, I duh leh tir ta che," a ti a.
Nova chuan, "Hetah eitur engzatnge in neih," a ti a, a naute ho chuan, "Ka pu, bawmrang 12 chiah kan rut," an lo ti a.

Nova chuan, " Chhuak ula, kawtthlerah te, daiah te kal ula, pachhia te leh hmeithai te va sawm rawh u, ka inah eitur a tam si a," a ti a.

Tichuan an chhuak a, sabengtung no thlun chu an va hmu ta a, an phelh a an kai a. A neituin a lo hmuh chuan, " Kha kha engatan nge in tih," a lo ti a. An zinga pakhat chuan, " Ka fapa hi a thi a, a lo nung leh ta anih hi, a bova kan hmu leh ta a nih hi," a ti a, a tlan a, a ir chuktuahin a fawp ta ngawih ngawih a.

Chutih lai vek chuan chumi bialah chuan tam nasa tak a tla a, zanah Josefa mumangah Pathian a rawn inlar a.

"Josef, tho la, u nupui hual Mari hruai la, ram ka la entir tur che lamah chuan kal rawh. Tichuan I tan a tha anga leiah hian I damrei bawk ang."

"Mahse Lalpa, naupang mai ka la ni si a,tawngkam te ka thiam si lo va. Ka nu leh pa ka va vui phawt anga chuan ka kal ang e."

"Rintlempa, miin khawnvar halin hrai hnuaiah an dah ngailo, a dahnaah an dah zawk thin. Nang do chu kei mi do an ni si a."

"Engtin nge ni ang Lalpa, zankhuain leng kan deng tawh a, sangha pakhat pawh kan la man si lo va."

"Mut thlahlel suh, I lo pachhe dah ang e. Tho la I awngphah la la, ke in kal rawh."

A tuk zing khua a lo var chuan Josefa chu a han thangharh a, an thlunna khaidiat te chu amahin a lo inphelh vek mai a. Tang vengtu chuan chu chu a hmuhin a hlau ta em em a, a lu ah vut a phul a, saiip puan sinin khawlaiah a thu ta reng mai a. Chutih lai chuan Jerusalem atanga Jericho kal tur khualzin hian a rawn hmu a, a khawngaih ta em em a. Leiah chil a chhak a, chirhdiak chu a mitah a hnawihsak a, " Tikhan kal la, Siloam dilah va sil rawh," a ti a. Tang vengtu chu zuang zuangin leh Pathian fak chung zelin ama in lamah kawng dangah a haw ta a.

Fehrehsan a lo ni a, Paula chu a ril a lo tam ta em em mai a. Lalpa chuan a khawngaih a, choak te hmangin chhangper a pe a. A han ei zawh chuan Paula chu a lo harh ta sawt a, a thleninnu hnenah chuan, " I belh neih zawng zawng tiruak vek la, I thenawmte bel ruak pawh va hawhkhawm ang che," a ti a. Chu thu chu a hriat veleh a thleninnu chu a tlan vang vang a, " Enteh u Pathian beram no khawvel sual kalpui tu tur saw," a ti a. Mipui an lo pungkhawm ta chiam a, Pathian an fak a.

Nimahsela Isaka chu a lo tar tak em avangin a khawhmuh te pawh a fiahlo zo tawh a. A fapa Jakoba chu a kova, "Ka fapa, I pa thupek pawm la, I nu zirtirna te chu hawisan suh. Tichuan in thiltih that te an hmu anga, in Pa vana mi an chawimawi thei dawn nia," a ti a. Jakoba chu a chhuak a, Pharoa in lam panin a kal . Tlangval hausa tak mai hian a rawn bia a, " Enteh, talent nga min kawltir kha, talent nga dang ka dekchhuak e," a ti a, a sawi a. Jakoban chu chu a hmuhin a lungnilo em em a, Pharoa kaihzavengtu hnenah chuan, " Ngai rawh ka hrilh a che, nangin ar a khuan hmain vawi thum mi phat ang," a ti a. Vengtu chuan," Kei leh ka chhungte erawh hi zawngin Lalpa rawng ania kan bawl dawn ni," a lo ti a.

Tin, chumi ram vekah chuan beram vengtute an awm a, zanah an beram ho an veng a, phulah an riahchilh a.Lalpa thlarau chu an chungah a rawn awm a, an zain tawng hrangin an lo tawng ta a. Puitling pawh sangnga lai an ni a, an tam em avangin kawngkaah chuan an lut thei lova, inchung atan chuan damlo chu an khaithla ta zawk a. Damlo chu kum 12 chhung thiput tawh a ni a,a bula mite chu a zawt vel a, " Ka duhtak kha in lo hmu em? In lo hmuh chuan hmangaihnaah ka uai zo ta tih in lo hrilh dawn nia," a ti a.

Chu thu chu a lo hriatin Heroda chu a thinrim ta em em a, Mosia chu a kohtir a. Mosia hnenah chuan, "Ka hnenah kum sarih dang thawk leh la, tichuan Aigupta ram pum hotu ah ka siam ang chia, I hming pawh ka tiropui ang," a ti a. Mosia chuan parva chu a thlawhchhuahtir a, a thlawhbo hma chu a en reng a. Heroda hnenah chuan, " Ngaiteh, van inhawng te ka hmu a, Pa Pathian ding lama Mihring Fapa thu pawh ka hmu," a ti a. An vela mite chuan, "Uaiin an rui anih hi," an ti a.

Tin, Mosia chu Areopagi lai takah chuan a ding a, thu a sawi a:
"Sim rawh u, vanram chu a hnai tawh e. Ngaiteh u, thing tin bulah hreipui an dah ta, a then a leh za te, a then a leh sawmthum te, a then a leh sawmruk tein an lo rah ta. Mihring hi chhang chauhin an nung lo. Tuisik chauh in mi ni tawhlo la, I pum a lo that zawk nan uaiin tlem te in tel ang che. Ka rawn zin hnuhnun bera in hnena ka thuchah che u kha lo hrereng ang che u. Ka nun hian Lalpa a chawimawi e, ani chuan thil ropui takte min tihsak a, a hming pawh a ropui ani. Amah tihtute chu thangthar thlengin a khawngaih zel thin."

Tin, heti hi a ni a, Lal Davida hnenah Pathian thu a lo thleng a, " Naute leh a nu hruai la, Aigupta ramah tlanbo rawh, Heroda chuan thah turin thupek a chhuah ta si a," a rawn ti a. Davida chuan a sipai zahotu chu a kova, a beram duh leh beram varte chu thliar hrang vek turin thu a pe a. Sipaizahotu chuan, " Nangin ka chungah eng thuneihna nge I neih le? Hmanni lawkah Aigupta mi I thata I phum lai kha ka hmu reng che asin," a lo ti ta mai a. Davida chuan, "Ngawi la, awm hle hle rawh," a ti a. Sipaizahotu chu a chhuak a, kulh kawngkaah a va thu ta reng a. A inngaihtuah a, " Ka tho vanga ka pa hnenah ka kal teh ang, a inah chuan eisenloh a awm si a," a ti a, a pa in lam pan chuan a kal ta a. A pa chuan a lo hmu a, a hnenah chuan, " Ka fapa, uaiin hi a sen kak laiin en suh ang che," a lo ti a.

Tichuan lei chung zawng zawngah chuan ni sawmli leh zan sawmli chhung ruah a sur a, fatir apiang chu tihhlum an ni a. Judai ram chu nute tap thawmin a lo khat zo ta. Elija chu Karmel tlangah chuan a chho va, a fapa chuan, " Ka pa, khawiahnge kan halral thil hlan tur chu," tiin a zawt a. Elija chuan " A hming chu Johana ani" tih a ziak a, vawilehkhatah a lei chu phelhin a awm ta a, Pathian fakna hla sain khawlaiah saruakin a lam ta a. A nupui chuan a lo hmuhin a lo zak ta em em a, a hnenah chuan, "Sihal ten kua an nei a, sava ten bu an nei," a ti a. Elija chuan, "Miin khawvel hi a pumin nei sela, a nun chan si sela, a tan enge sawt ang?" tiin a lo chhang let ve thung a. Tichuan Elija chu kum sawmriat dang a dam leh a,a damchhung zawng chu kum za leh kum sawmsarin a ni. A ni khatna chu.

Zan a mutnaah Samuela chuan amah kotu aw a hria , "Samuel, Samuel" tiin a rawn ko va. Samuela chuan, " Lalpa thu chauh sawi la, ka bawih chu a dam ang," tiin a lo chhang a.

" Samuel lo chhuk rawh, vawiinah I inah chaw ka lo ei dawn"

"Mahse Lalpa, chhangper panga leh sangha pahnih chauh a awm"

"Riltam te chu an eng a thawl e, an la tlai dawn si a"

Samuela chu a thova, khawnvar a chhi a, a khumhnuai chu hmunphiahin a phiat a. A duli tihbo chu a phiatchhuak ta a, pawnah a tlanchhuak a, "Mi lawmpui rawh u, ka beram bo chu ka hmu leh ta e." tiin a au va.

Behliang mun hun a lo nih chuan Ruthi chuan Boaza hnenah chuan, "Mi mutpui rawh," a ti a. Boaza chu a tlanchhia a, Sidon ruamah a biru a. Ruthi chuan Boaza puan a a pawhthlak chu kel thisenah a chiah a, Potiphara chu a entir a, " Enteh, I fapa chu ramsa ten an sehhlum ta," a ti a. Potiphara chu nasa takin a lo lungngai ta a. Ani, a chauh phah hial a. Samuela chuan, "Hemi zat chiah hi maw in ram hralhna chu?" tiin a zawt a. Ruthi chuan, "Aw, hemi zat chiah hi," a ti a, leiah a tlu a, a thi ta nghal a. Potiphara chuan, "Thlan thar, tuma la zalhlohna ka nei a, chutah chuan ka lo zalh ang e," a ti a. Nimahsela a ruang chu Jezreel khaw pawna ui te chuan an ei ta mai mai a.

Tlai lam a lo ni a,thiandun pahnih hi Emau lam panin an kal a. An ril a lo tam a, buhhmuna mi buh chu an lova, an ei ta a. Pharisaiten chu chu an lo hmu a, Puithiam Lalber Kaiapha hnenah an hruai a. Kaiapha chuan, "Tihtak meuhin, tihtak meuhin ka hrilh a che u, khawvel hi a chakna te chawpin a boral mek a ni," a lo ti a. A ni hnihna chu.

Solomona chu a finna avang chuan a hmingthang em em a, nupui 300 leh hmei 700 lai a nei a. Nimahsela Rakili chuan fa a hrinsak theihloh avangin Rakili bawihnu Leaii chu a mutpui a. Leaii chuan fapa a hrinsak a, a hmingah Absaloma a sa a. Absaloma chu a lo lian telh telh a, a lo fing deuh deuh a, Pathian duhzawng ang zelin a awm a. Sanghawngsei hmul puanin a inthuam a, a kawngah savun kawnghren a hreng a, a chaw chu khaukhuap leh khawizu a ni. A nu leh pa chuan tempulah Puithiam Elia bulah an awmtir a, puitling ho zingah thuin zawhna khirh tak tak te a zawt thin a, mi zawng zawngin mak an ti em em a. A thenin, "Mosia a nih hi," an ti a, a thenin, "Elija kha a lo tho leh ta a nih hi," an ti a. Galili ram pum chu a lo mangang ta em ema. Mipui chuan, "Krawsah khengbet rawh," tiin an au rual a. Solomona erawh chuan, "Rul thlahte u,thinur lo thleng tur hi hlau rawh u, ni hnuhnungah te chuan thil rapthlak tak takte a lo thleng ang," a ti a. A ni thumna chu.

Tichuan Saula chu Damaska khaw dai a thlen chuan eng nasa takin a rawn chhun a, leiah a tlu ta a. Aw ring tak hian, "Chungnungberah Pathian ropui takin awm rawh se, lei chunga a lawm mihringte hnenah remthu leng rawh se," a tih hi a hria a. Saula chuan, "Eloi, eloi, lama sabakthani," tiin a chhang a. A han hawi chhuak a , a mit a lo del ta vek mai a. Levia chi mi pakhat hi a lo kal a, a rawn kalpel mai a. Puithiam a lo kal leh a, ani pawh chuan a rawn kalpel leh mai a . A tawp berah Samari mi hi a lo kal a, Saula a hmuh chuan a khawngaih em em a, a puaninah a hruailut a, a sanghawngsei chu tui intur a pe bawk a. A hnenah chuan, "Tangka leh rangkachak pek tur che engmah ka neilo, nimahsela I hming chu tun atangin Paula lo ni tawh rawh se," a ti a. Saula chu a han meng a, a mit a lo var a. A lawm em em a, a beram rual zinga mi hmelhem lo a thau tha ber chu halral thilhlanah Pathian hnenah a hlan ta a. Pathian chu a chungah a lawm ta em em a, "Ngai rawh, I thlahte chu vana arsi zat khi an ni anga, leia tiauvut zat hi an ni ang," a ti a. A ni lina chu.

Ringtu ho chu Marka nu inah an inkhawm lain kawngka kik ri an hria . Nula pakhat Rodi chu hawng turin a va kal a, Petera a ni tih a va hmu a,a hnenah, "Tangka sum ngainat hi sual tinreng bul a ni," a va ti a. Petera chuan, "I vanglai hian I siamtu hrereng rawh," tiin a lo chhang a. Tichuan an za chuan Pathian fak chung zelin naute leh a nu chu an kalsan a. Nimahsela lawnga an chuan lai chuan thlipui nasa tak a lo tleh a, lawng chu a pil dawn ta mai a. An vai chuan an hlau ta em em a. Petera chuan, "In bungraw thenkhat kha tuiah thlak ula, lawng hi a zang deuh anga kan pil dawnlo nia," a ti a. An bungrua chu an thlak a, mahse lawng chu a la fawn nasa em em reng a. A tawpah chuan Jona chu an paih a, tuifawn chu a reh ta a . Jona erawh chu nghapuiin a lo dawlh a, nghapui kawchhungah chuan ni thum leh zan thum a awm hnuah nghapui chuan a luakchhuak leh ta a. Jona chu a han hawi a, a piah lawkah chuan thingbuk alh hluah hluah mahse kang miah silo hi a va hmu a, a hlau ta em em a. Pathian aw a hria a, "Sodom leh Gomorra khuate chu hrilh rawh. An sualte an sim loh chuan mei leh katin ka tichimit vek ang," tih hi.

Jona chu a thova, Bethani khaw lam panin a kal a. A kalkawngah chuan Ethiopia mi tilreh a hmu a, a hnenah chuan, "Mihring tawngte leh vantirhkoh tawngte in thu sawi mah ila, hmangaihna ka neih si loh chuan ka tan engmah a sawt lovang," a ti a. Mi tilreh chuan, "Tutenge ka unaute chu?" tiin a zawt a. Jona chuan, "Hmangaihnain a dawhthei a, ngil a nei bawk thin," a ti a, a chhang a. Bethani khua a va thlen chuan hmeichhe pakhat a hming Ludi puan senduk zuar inah a va thleng a. Ludi chuan hriak rimtui alabaster in a ke a lo silsak a, a samin a hru a. Jona chuan Ludi hnenah chuan, "Hmangaihna a uang lo va, a chemawilo lova, fellohnaah a lawm lova, thutak erawh chu a lawmpui thin," a ti a. A ni ngana chu.

Buh chi thehtu in a lovah buhchi a theh a. A lo to chuan a kung chu a lian em em a, a zarah chuan savate an fu a, a hlimah chuan ramsate an chawl bawk a. Chumi phairuamah chuan Nebukadnezzara chuan milim lianpui mai a din a, mi zawng zawng mahni pianna khuaah hmingziak tura kalvek tur tih thupek a chhuah a. Tin, lal thu chu an hria a, an kal ta a. Khawchhak lama arsi an hmuh kha naute awmna zawn a thlena a din hma loh zawng an zui zel a. A hma lama kalte leh a hnung lama rawn zuitute chuan, "Lalpa chu a ropui e, ani chuan Pharoa sipaite lakah min chhanhim ta si a," tiin an zai a. Thusawi reng reng leh tawng reng reng a awm lo va, an aw chu benga hriat theih a ni lo. Tichuan a vawi sarihna atan chuan Jericho kulh chu an kalhual leh a, tawtawrawt chu an han ham veleh kulh bang chu a rawn chim thla ta vek mai a. A thenin kalkawngah chuan an puan an phah a, a thenin ramhnuaia mi chhawl satin an lo phah bawk a, an au rual a: "Aw kulh kawngkate u, inchawisang ula, ani, kawngkhar hlunte u, inchawisang rawh u," an ti a. Thlarau in a tawngtir ang zelin tawng dangin an lo tawng ta a. A ni rukna chu.

A ni sarihna a lo thlen chuan Pathian chu a chawl a. Pathian chuan a thilsiamte chu a en a, tha a ti em em a.