Mascaraed

Yes, that’s me, The Mascaraed One. Layers of mascara on my woefully short eyelashes. Have you ever noticed how long curly eyelashes make a person so beautiful, so alluring, so sexy? Of all the good and lovable things that God heaped upon me, long eyelashes are not one of them. I believe the heavenly supply room was short on eyelashes when God made me. And to top it off, I have these puffy eyelids that tend to droop down over the eyes. I guess now you’d have a fair idea of how badly I covet long spiky eyelashes. Fake eyelashes? Too pornstar-ish.

I heard that you can get your eyelashes “permanently curled” in Aizawl. Is that true? I wonder what technique and what chemicals will be used in this miraculous process. It sounds so scary. What if some chemicals get into my eyes and something happened, something bad? My eyes are bad enough already, I can’t afford to take any chances. So I will remain, short eyelashed.

Isn’t the mascara a truly wonderful invention? Instant glamour in a bottle. Makes even the most dowdy person feel good. It’s like wearing good underwear, nobody knows about it but you feel so good; it’s like a secret that only you know. Never mind that you have the shortest eyelashes that are still practically invisible even under a thick layer of mascara, never mind that you wear thick glasses and nobody will look that close into your eyes (even if they do they might hardly notice the newly blackened curled lashes), never mind that your eyelids are droopy and puffy; wearing mascara makes you feel glamorous and pretty. So ladies, go on, dip that brush in that tube and run it through your eyelashes. It’s one of life’s little pleasures.